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Crawl – Rituals

crawl – rituals


I’m gonna start this review with a negative if I may. What exactly is my fucking problem you ask? Well it’s nothing too serious, just the name of the band is all. Crawl, very misleading if you ask me (and you didn’t but too bad I’m writing this, you are not ha-ha). Misleading I say! Why? Because for the uninitiated and just plain dimwitted, including myself obviously, one could be forgiven for thinking such a name would suit some slow arsed dirgy Funeral Doom kind of thing. What you get here is far from that dear reader, you get what I can only explain as a smack in the side of the face with an extremely huge HM-2 pedal wrapped in an iron gauntlet that has spikes on it and weighs approximately 4 ton. Yes you can quote me on that. Crawl come blasting out of your prefered music device like a fucking herd of Rhino and then proceed to fuck shit up all over the place for the duration of the album. Bolt Thrower dipped in lead. Entombed covered in concrete. Choose anything you think is heavy and then prepare to call it pissweak my friends, this shit is just plain nasty evil brootal fuckery of the highest order. Crusty Death with D Beats galore, amps turned up to eleventy hundred with a depth and tone that would make an undertaker smile. Want a highlight? Go listen to the fucker yourself, the whole thing is one big fat arsed whore of a highlight. You know what you’re gonna get now, so don your safety gear and just blast it as loud as you possibly can.

When the dust settles and your house is in ruins, your cat has buggered off and the police have you in custody for disturbing the peace don’t say I didn’t warn you, oh, and as for that name thing? I think they should have called themselves HOLY FUCK!, apt my friends, very apt. Kudos to Crawl, and kudos to Transcending Obscurity Records. I am quite convinced that if we turned Kunal’s talent for finding bands into one for finding gold he would be a very well off young man, and so he should be, the man finds talent like a sniffer dog finds cocaine! Not much more to say really, you need this, you want this, and although it is only a short ride, you will be heading back to it over and over again. So damn good! FUCK YEAH!! (Andrew)


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