Wokescum Pulverizer – The Grand Annihilation of Wimps

‘I am the master of the middle finger’ claims the first line on the recording. ‘Oh, this should be good!’ thinks the mostly unprepared listener. As if the listener couldn’t expect something like this after reading the bands name… or the title of the album. A quick scour over the internet for the additional information left me more disappointed than not, as there were literally none. Anti-woke? Yup, noticed it in the name. Toxic Masculinity? Don’t make me repeat myself. Powerlifting? You don’t really need to be literate to notice someone lifting weights on the cover. Violence? Since I don’t usually review sobby ballads or contemporary pop hits, this one was not too difficult to guess. Parody? Okay, that one IS the one I was looking for. And that was also the one which made things fall into place.

There’s no denying powerlifting is the choice of a lot of philosophies comprised by bands at this end of the heavy metal spectrum. Okay, a girl can and should always respect a man who is consistent with something which is at least good for him, because he’s consistent with something. Consistency is one of the least used words by men these days and it’s usually only measured in how many days straight he hasn’t sobered up or got his scrambled mind out of a coke daze… when it comes to something positive, like taking care of his health? Nope, ain’t happening and no bitch should tell him to do that or she’ll be deemed as toxic. And, er, I’m speaking from my friends experience.

And that consistency, the good and the bad one combined, ooze into the recording. The buzzing guitars literally fight with the lobotomizing drums while the mid dissonant vocals spew nerve gas onto the listener. Before you attack me with ‘there’s nothing ‘mid’ on this record!’… you can understand what the guy is saying. Which is good, because if everything was pushed to the maximum, it would be just plain noise and the whole thing would lose its meaning. Think of your last powerlifting session. Did it wear you down? Don’t lie to me, of course it did. But did you do it again the next day? Of course you did (if you didn’t, the record is not for you as it should annihilate you as a wimp you are. It says so in the title. I don’t make the rules here). Are you going to do it again? Of course you will!

And why was the word ‘parody’ so important? You know how most bands in this side of the metal spectrum just take themselves too seriously and there are some who can literally make fun of themselves and everyone else around them? Wokescum Pulverizer is definitely one of the later and their music is a perfect example of it. While there’s a lot of people rolling on the floor screaming that this is not even music, it’s quite obvious the members of the band are here to have fun. And if they have fun making it, people who enjoy listening to the dirty Black / Death / Grind combo for the right reasons, will have fun listening to it (and won’t build their nonsense conspiracy theories / personal beliefs / political agenda on an album they know nothing of).

And now bench it until failure!